How to Thrive in a Remote-In-Person Relationship

How to Thrive in a Remote-In-Person Relationship

Working is an unfortunate yet necessary part of life for most of us. These days, wages are lower,  work hours are longer and quality time is shorter. 

Post COVID-19, there has been an influx of workers now working on a hybrid basis, or completely remote from home. Statistics from the Office of National Statistics indicate that remote working is improving time management and available time. In a survey by the Office of National Statistics, 78 per cent said to a degree, the opportunity to work from home has improved their work-life balance.

78% of those who worked from home in some capacity said that being able to work from home gave them an improved work-life balance. But what if one of you isn't hybrid or remote?

Living together, you could easily see your partner at the end of the day once you logged off and their home. Yes, it's difficult, but coming home to a shared space does make it convenient to spend time together, or at the very least, have dinner together! For those who don't live together, it can cause a strain on the relationship due to operating on different schedules and different methods of working. This article is going to tell you how your relationship can continue to thrive when one works remotely, and the other doesn't. 

Schedule virtual date nights

Just like during COVID, virtual date nights are back in! When you're missing your person and they're tired from work, why not schedule a virtual date night? Watch your favourite film on Netflix Party with your go-to snacks, play online games together, or plan something more elaborate. Tailor it to both of your hobbies and interests.

Pinterest is the perfect inspo for all things cute for date night, and a quick search for virtual dates will likely bring up a whole world of things you can do.

Your partner will appreciate all the effort you have gone through for them, and I'm sure they'll return the favour! 

Sync your break times with each other

As hard as this sounds, planning out your breaks to message or call each other is a great way to keep communication and the connection you share.

Remote workers, block out the time in your calendar (with permission, of course) for your lunch or scheduled break. Do not specify what it's for, just the time frame you're planning to be gone for. As Teams is one of the most common workspaces used now in the UK, you should have no problems doing this.

 For in-person workers, your best bet is to schedule this halfway through your shift during your allocated 15-minute break which is mandatory in the UK, or during your lunch hour if possible. Of course, we know sometimes you cannot pick and choose your lunch hours or breaks but try your best to keep to a schedule for those well-needed daily chats.

Create a shared digital calendar

Digital calendars are becoming the norm now for social visits, work and appointments. They're efficient, easy to set up and shareable. Creating a designated digital calendar for you and your partner is a surefire way to make plans, check each other's schedules and plan your quality time together. In the USA, it was reported that 70 per cent of American adults rely on a digital calendar for their daily life organisation, according to the communications platform, ECAL.

If you want a digital calendar that allows greater personalisation than your boring Apple one, then consider downloading a digital calendar app for you both to use. It would be advisable to create different calendars for different purposes. For example, you could have individual ones for your work schedule, weekly schedule, monthly schedule, and a couples' one for days where you plan to see each other. 

The most important thing is to make sure you have a designated calendar for each other's quality time. TimeTree is a great one for those with an Android or a Google phone. If you're struggling to find one to suit you both, try them out with an experimental calendar until you find the best one.

Give little gifts when you can

Now we are very aware there is a cost of living crisis, but romance doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg! Giving little surprise gifts or notes can be a sweet way to remind your person how much you love them. Sites like Moonpig and Snapfish allow you to send custom cards with photos for a couple of pounds. You can express your emotions through words and send them without your partner knowing. Not only does this give you both something to look forward to, but it validates your feelings on both sides and keeps the spark alive.

If your love language is gift-giving, then small sweet gifts from sites like Amazon, Etsy, Not on the High Street or any independent sellers allow you to send and receive gifts without having to see each other - make sure there is a safe place to deliver them to if one of you won't be in! Think cards, notes, flowers and little trinkets you know your partner would like. Really personalise it to the things they like and value.

Set short-term goals for your relationship

No, we aren't talking about marriage or having children, we are talking about the short-term! Establishing weekly goals between the two of you ensures both of you take accountability when it comes to the effort in your relationship. This is also where the calendar can come in handy to schedule those dates and promises you make to each other, but you have to make sure you actually do them!

Goal-setting apps can be handy when you can tick off the goals you've achieved that week. You can see how many of the goals you've achieved, and both set aside time for scheduled reflections on the outcome of your goals. You can even set deadlines to make sure you go the extra mile for that accountability.

If you don't want to be so formal, arrange a time when you are both available to talk through the goals of the week or month once the time frame has concluded. Have a phone call or a video call lined up so you have designated time to reflect, communicate and discuss your relationship goals.

Maintain open and honest communication

Open and honest communication is so important for the development of relationships, especially when your work schedules are different. It can be hard to sometimes say what you mean as you may feel you're troubling your partner while they're out working, or you may not be able to reply due to being on calls.

When push comes to shove, make sure you both mutually agree to communicate effectively and honestly. Communicate your feelings in regards to how often you wish to see each other, what you'd like to do and how you can meet each other's needs in that way. 

Take time to share updates about your work days in greater depth such as if you have any big meetings or projects coming up where you may need extra time to prepare. Making your partner aware of these things will allow them to support you and maybe even coach you so that you thrive in both your career and your relationship. 

Keep your boundaries clear of how you'd like to communicate and appropriate discussion times for work versus relationship subjects. Lastly, resolve your conflicts directly and promptly so the issues do not escalate and affect your relationship or work. 

By incorporating these strategies, couples can foster a culture of open and honest communication in their relationship, even when one partner works remotely and the other in person.